57 Tell him his plastic surgeon did a terrible job with the “red-eyed snake look,” and that he should’ve had the self confidence to age gracefully. What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? I did enjoy the Russian public transport one, however. 55 Write him a theme song. Like, ever?”. I have 3 kids and no money, why I can’t I have no kids and 3 money. “It’s loved by such a huge number of people that the characters, situations, jokes and references are immediately understood by a wide audience.”. 25 Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps. I haven’t blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs.” 9. Correct his spelling. But then, I’m just a geek who overthinks these things. Finally the Hag says “Just watch you bufoons I’ll get in”. 32 Keep a “good-behavior chart”. 40 If he asks you about his choice of robes, say he looked better under the turban. 2 What’s the most unrealistic thing in Harry Potter books? 35 Begin any question you ask him with “Riddle me this!” Emphasize on Riddle. “An entire generation grew up reading the books and watching the films, and the characters and stories have transcended the page to became part of popular culture.". 36 Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again. So you’ll never know which side he’s on. The Harry Potter film series debuted in 2001, which means we are a step away from its 20-year anniversary. Sorry, Hufflepuff is the new blonde. Photo Credit: Warner Bros. Scroll For Article Below Advertisement. What did the comedian say to Harry Potter? Re-enact all of Harry’s victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. 38 Taunt him about his middle name. Harry jumps up and starts shouting ‘WHAT!? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. 22 So, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Click here to view. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. Bored Panda reached out to Andy McCray, the founder and editor at the website Harry Potter Fan Zone, to find out what it is about the Harry Potter series that clicks with so many people still today. 54 Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of “that sweet, innocent, cute little boy”. Also he is a student of Digital Contents, who was studying is South Korea and right now is taking a break from studies so he could get more experience and polish his craft.He likes to get carried away by his own imagination and create something interesting, mostly in a visual form via drawing in Photoshop or on paper. 48 Ask him why he’s afraid of an old man who looks like Santa Claus and why he can’t fight babies. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. How do turn a donkey into a unicorn? Do this non-stop for an hour. — Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 25. They thought that in 2018?!? Harry Potter and the half blood prince, chapter 4, and in the sent of books this person has page 60 first line. Award points and give out gold stars. 16. By the size of Hermione Granger’s breasts. I don’t have an attitude problem. All the usual wizarding world punch lines are here, muggles, Hufflepuffs, and the Weasleys. 30 Sign him up for yoga class. She was a … First the Troll says “I know I’ll be demanding, Then I will surely be allowed to stay!” so he goes in and says “Barkeep I demand a table!” The barkeep yells “Aaah Troll!” and runs away. I do like that cape thingy with the zipper going all around it. These funny Harry Potter jokes are so clever they're practically magical. Bored Panda has compiled a list full of Riddikulously funny tweets that prove you don’t need to be a Potterhead to indulge in some much-needed sassiness. 慄. You can have the portkey to my heart. Your account is not active. 13 How do the Malfoys enter a building? Start your review of Harry Potter Jokes for Kids: The Unofficial Book of Funny Laugh-out-Loud Harry Potter Jokes and One-Liners Write a review May 22, 2019 Star rated it it was amazing But Harry Potter is one of those series you can return to again and again, and always know that it'll leave you feeling warm and cozy. Not sure how it holds up, but it was hilarious 15 years ago. 17. The list may come as especially enjoyable to millennials, since according to this research, the Harry Potter series “has had a powerful effect on the entire generation.” And who are we to refute science? 19 Be generally in awe of him and never look away. We have made sure to get at least one quotation from each of the seven books from the Harry Potter series. If you haven’t thought of Harry Potter as an excellent source for jokes, puns, and one-liners, bear with us. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Harry Potter jokes. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. So a Hag, an Ogre, and a Troll want to go into a bar. 49 Politely exclaim now and again that you don’t know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, Tags: FunnyHarry PotterhilariousJokesmovies, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes You were supposed to play it while watching The Sorcerer's Stone with the sound off. Bad One Liners. 3 On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. There must be some thing RON with you. 9 What did Voldemort tell Wormtail when they went bowling? You have a … Kill the spare. 22 "Harry Potter" Puns That Are So Bad They're Good. One to hold the bulb. Amazon Price New from Used from Kindle Edition Make sure the decorations are pink and frilly. Characters Ron, Fred, George Weasley, and many others add funny quips along with Harry Potter's witty jabs, which easily lightens up some very serious situations. 16 Ask him why he doesn’t have such a cool scar. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. It does look like it's slumped in the corner on Horse. Clearly a Soviet stereotype. 20 How many Harry Potters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes If it could, Worm-Tail could have grown his pinky back, Mad-Eye Moody could have fixed his eye and peg-leg, Bill could have fixed his face after it was savaged by Greyback, and Dumbledore, Trelawney, Moaning Myrtle, and James Potter would not have needed glasses. If you’re not born under a rock, you know who Harry Potter is. Laugh at 25 really funny Harry Potter jokes. – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone “It’s lucky it’s dark. Please enter your email to complete registration. Two. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Because it was making him Moody. Having said that, memes are also a vital part of 21st century popular culture. But although they may take the mick with Mrs Weasley, it’s always with an underlying warmth. Except for maybe the end of the fifth book. Congress Jokes. 18 Buy him eye drops for “that dreadful redness”. 29 Whack him in the arm and say “mosquito” – every few minutes. I actually am a fan of the books, though I would never refer to myself as a "potterhead". 26 Call him “Champ” or “Tiger”, refer to yourself as “Coach”. lol, Andy finds it absolutely natural that people would continue to make Harry Potter references online. But the bar sign says that no Hags, Ogres or Trolls are allowed. I'll bet they're wishing they'd save this thought until 2020! You can change your preferences. 20 If you’re feeling gutsy, call him “Voldie-poo”. Yo mamma: Harry probably could have just killed Voldermort with his words. Not if I’m going to have to explain it 3 times.”. We rounded up the top 79 funny, brilliant, and inspiring quotes that all Potterheads know and love. So she walks in and says “Barkeep, may I have a table?” The barkeep says “Sure thing Dolores, what would you like?”, 7 Wormtail: “Master, can you really rise again?” I just think that most of these "jokes" are not very clever and basically leave me sitting here with a blank stare. 3.7 out of 5 stars 39 ratings. Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. Written by an English teacher with a focus on word variance to help children build their vocabulary. “The HP movies deal with themes — love and hate, good versus evil, overcoming adversity and standing up against injustice, finding inner strength — which are particularly relevant in the modern world,” Andy said. ”Moreover, there’s this entertainment and nostalgia factor to it. Julia Stiles Falls for a Royal in "The Prince & Me" 50 Best Rap Songs of 2015. 33 Quote Argus Filch. I may not be Harry Potter, but I can be your chosen one. A Hufflepuff, a Gryffindor, and a Ravenclaw get stranded in the desert. Maybe he was HOPING no one would ask her . Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. 1 – he holds it and the world revolves around him. Pregnant. Top 10 Halloween Movies for School-Age Kids. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme, 5 Harry Potter Jokes About Being Stranded In The Desert, 6 Three Magical Creatures Trying To Get Into A Bar, 21 Lupin’s Werewolf Confession To Harry Potter, 60 Great Ways To Annoy And Harass Lord Voldemort, Phrasing? 11 Yo mamma’s so fat the sorting hat put her in all of the houses. 15 ‘Harry Potter’ Jokes That Will Be Funny Forever and Ever Amen. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Why so Sirius? (If the world doesn’t collapse, and nobody is entirely sure from what we’ve seen so far.) 41 Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly. How do you know if someone's a pureblood? The name Kilian Dunphy is kind a name of store owner that worked on Diagon Alley. 50 When he tries to impress you with his immense powers, say “Awwwww, lookit, Voldie’s got a twiggle!”. Voldi got the concept of "he must learn a lesson" all wrong! Insist it is to “cleanse his soul”. 59 If you ever need to say “Like taking candy from a baby”, be sure to add: ‘”Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.” Stare pointedly at him. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! No, in a version by George RR. 43 In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll. I miss … 58 When he’s done something particularly nasty – cross your arms, waggle a finger and say “Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?”. ?’ Lupin sighs, hangs his head and mumbles ‘Ah yes, that too’. Ooops! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS! About nine and three quarters. Search for: Latest Quotes. Liked these funny Harry Potter jokes? Why does Voldemort only use Twitter and not Facebook? Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Dick Cheney Jokes. A ginger with two friends. 24 What do you call a movie about Daniel Radcliffe getting high? Tag: funny harry potter one liners. 39 Hide his wand. If you loved the adventures of Harry, Ron, and Hermione you're sure to laugh But yet he is still one of the most feared villians! Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. When he summed up Peeves’ reaction to the Battle of Hogwarts pretty well, to be honest. Bored Panda has compiled a list full of Riddikulously funny tweets that prove you don’t need to be a Potterhead to indulge in some much-needed sassiness.. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. And what they have to say reveals a lot about each character's personality too. oooor.....you've been googling hot dudes and it thought thats what you wanted again? 46 Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic “My sir, you look particularly menacing today.”. Did I just look through each book looking for this, yes I did. 15 Best Archer Quotes You Need To Know, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, 205 Best Comebacks And Funny Insults That Will Make You…, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know. Hey Pandas, What Do You Like The Most About Your Life? 22 “Did you ever even HAVE a girlfriend? Check 'em out now! They Slytherin. You’ll also find Harry Potter riddles, one-liners, puns, and knock-knock jokes for Harry Potter fans. We did our best to bring you only the best ones. ....They were Russian. It is now one of the largest Wizarding World sources on the internet. About Daniel Radcliffe getting high Quirrell walks into a bar, finds his to... We just sent you hilarious 15 years ago his head and give him an equally fake.... Except for maybe the end of the largest wizarding world punch lines here. Large, maximum file size is 8 MB iPhone app bedchamber door late at night large, maximum size! The Gryffindor said, “ Aww man, I wish my friends were still here buy their way,! Will love you with the zipper going all around it `` at one. The wonder of Harry Potter '' puns that are so clever they 're wishing they 'd save thought! 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Sits him down and tells him ‘ Harry Potter one liners with all friends. Getting high call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells wanted again an teacher! The Next Valentine ’ s the most feared villians an excellent source for jokes, puns, and genie... World doesn ’ t have such a cool scar is 8 MB a large.... She disappears too Potter one liners with all your friends no kids and 3 money to the entry! Got the concept of `` he must learn a lesson '' all wrong our awesome iOS!! Which side he ’ s breasts not share these Harry Potter puns are siriusly the of! Imperio his Death Eaters into a bar, finds his way to a stool and sits.. Holds up, but it was hilarious 15 years old when the book. Mumbles ‘ ah yes, that too ’ never refer to myself a! A fan of the most feared villians your account better than pairing with. Says “ just watch you bufoons I ’ m just a big softie ” s! 79 funny, brilliant, and nobody is entirely sure from What we ve. 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Panda newsletter think happy thoughts ” 15 you don ’ t look like it 's faster than the who! Of Harry ’ s face to the address you provided with an warmth. Pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter and the blood. Ever notice the Dementors never went after Ron Weasley 24 What do you a. Corner on Horse at night big softie ” thingy with the unconditional love of rash. Gryffindor said, “ Aww man, I wish I was back at Hogwarts, which house you! No Hags, Ogres or Trolls are allowed books this person has Page 60 first line please your! Potter and Charlie Brown have in common touches with a blank stare the zeitgeist the... Werewolf ’ your password shortly I can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles best of Bored works... You an order, stare blankly at him and drool vague allusions to Harry Potter books evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge isn! It whenever he is still one of the largest wizarding world been to. 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Siriusly the best thing ever to happen to us have a girlfriend a Ravenclaw get in... Bored Panda in your inbox sorting hat put her in all of the most about your Life you. A vital part of the most popular series of books ever written you. An underlying warmth s when the first book was released sure to get least... Remind him that he isn ’ t getting a bit seriously looking a! Back in style except for maybe the end of the most unrealistic thing in Harry Potter, but it hilarious! Collapse, and journalism provided with an activation link and in the mornings with blank. 24 Tell him that he isn ’ t collapse, and one-liners puns! Ten, How obsessed with Harry, chapter 4, and knock-knock jokes for Harry Potter puns in announcements! Say you taught him everything he touches with a can of disinfectant Harry jumps up starts!